If Only

I often think of the process of creating in the wrong way, especially when I consider my life in light of if-onlys. 

If only I could get my career to the point where I didn’t have to call so many people for work.

If only I had that certain contact, my life would be complete.

If only I had so and so’s ability. 

But that mindset does nothing for the process. Letting our work be shadowed by if-onlys leaves us feeling empty and discontent.

Yeah, sometimes there are accolades for something you create, but the praise is always short-lived, leaving you like a junkie waiting for the next fix. So, somewhere along the way, the work has to become the reward. This revelation has unlocked a lot of joy for me this year. I’ve realized that I’m just happy to still be creating things for a living. Happy to be in the game instead of on the bench. 

In his book, Perennial Seller, Ryan Holiday says it like this, “Art is the kind of marathon where you cross the finish line and instead of getting a medal placed around your neck, the volunteers roughly grab you by the shoulders and walk you over to the starting line of another marathon.” 

You’ve felt that, right? But, this is certainly not to say the ole pat on the back is a bad thing, or that our desire to please others with our work is inherently bad. I’m not saying that at all. But, the long-lasting prize for creating is, well, creating. Being able to run another race. 

The older I get, the more time I spend praying that I would be content. Or at least more content with each day. I’ve seen glimpses of contentment in my life, and those moments always come from enjoying the work. Relishing the process. The journey. 

Let the work be your reward today. Enjoy the act of creation without being weighed down with if-onlys.